Lifestyle: Why a Relationship can Survive through University

Currently, it’s 14:36pm on a Thursday afternoon, lectures are finished for the week and I’m travelling up to Lancaster to see my boyfriend, Jack for his 19th birthday. Really, it couldn’t be a more appropriate time to write this blog post, and I’ve wanted to talk about this for quite a while.

For those of you who know me well or in fact, maybe not so well, you will definitely have heard of Jack somewhere along the line, and most probably the fact we’ve been together for a long time now. I got asked so many questions in my Upper Sixth year as to whether we would stay through University together or not, and I always said of course – not really giving it a second thought. However these questions for other couples do become a more prominent issue as the time draws closer to leaving home and how you’ll manage. But you do. So for anyone reading this post, this is me telling you to never give up on a relationship if it means something to you. Yes, you’ll be apart for some time – but there are so many positive things that become of this – and most importantly in the process you really begin to discover who you are.

For a while, I was convinced I wanted to go to the same University as Jack, or at least somewhere near. I wasn’t entirely thinking about my future, but rather I was sheepishly following his dreams and ambitions, and unwisely putting mine aside. However before I submitted my UCAS form, I started thinking more about myself, more about University League tables, more about my individual employability. On the 18th August 2016 it was decided that I was to study English Literature and Theatre at Bristol, and Jack, Law at Lancaster – basically a 3-½ hour – 4 hour journey away.

It took quite a long time for us to adjust to this transition. Leaving home in its entirety was horrible; I was constantly in tears and thinking when is it time to go home. Thus, with another level on top of this of missing your loved one, you feel you’ve made the worst decision – and ultimately think why would anyone openly choose to put themselves through this.

However, things started to get a little better, and we got into a routine in our first term of being able to see each other every fortnight or three weeks. The time in between initially was difficult, but when your schedules are under way, you have lectures to be in, tutorials to contribute to and societies to attend, your weeks begin to go much quicker, and become easier. When you’re finally with each other however, it’s incredibly special, and so worthwhile. You remember why you’re doing this, and you appreciate what you have together so much more. Jack and I have both agreed that you really do value the person and the relationship more than when you were living at home being a15 minute drive away. So while it’s not easy – it’s rewarding.

Moreover, you find yourself building an abundance of friends at both Universities: his friends become your friends, and your friends become his. It’s always great to catch up with them on how things are on their course, going out or making meals. In correlation to this, you also get to discover a whole new University and their mode of working. Bristol and Lancaster couldn’t be more different. From a vast city, with seminars in old but beautiful architectural houses, and libraries which are a 45 minute distance from your accommodation; to a very modern campus University with everything being in a 15 minute walk distance – things are clearly very different. But, it allows you to engage with new surroundings and experiences while discovering the general city at the same time.

Another positive notion that comes with a long distance relationship is your ability to time manage. Long train journeys though sound tiresome are brilliant for allowing you to focus. You know you want to spend as much of the weekend as you can with the other person as opposed to working with your head stuck in a book, so this motivates you to work quicker. I always pick a quiet carriage; read, write and this four-hour burst really gets a lot done.

Another, and final constructive factor that I have briefly alluded to is the

independence you gain. From getting the right buses, being in large unknown train stations like Birmingham New Street, and navigating your way to the University can be hard challenges. I remember being in Birmingham, which is the linking/changing station to Lancaster from Bristol, and feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I didn’t know where to go, what different coloured zones meant or how to get out. These daunting experiences prevent you from getting trapped in a Uni bubble of being complicit in your own surroundings. You have to grow up quickly, but we all have to at some stage, and in my perspective when at University: the earlier the better.

Moreover, you have to remember that you’re both going through the same – that is, you’re both going to miss each other. Perhaps you’ve got different education plans, you want to take a gap year, and they want to go to University in California. Or maybe they’re at Uni and you’re still at school trying to get your A Levels. Whatever the case, never give up before you’ve tried. I realise I’m only 2/3 of the way through my first year, and University is going to get harder. However having that person, who you can always talk to no matter what, is so refreshing, and they help you through very low points. So if you’re at that stage of not knowing what to do, or maybe you’ve just read to see how I’m finding things, I can safely say though it’s hard, I wouldn’t change a thing.

All My LittleMauve Love,

Hannah x

Disclaimer: All photos are taken by Jack's sister, India, and the quotes can be found on Pinterest.